Parenting

     Parenting is one of the most beautiful things you can do in life. Now what exactly does parenting involve? It is taking responsibility to raise kids old and young whether it be your own kids or grandchildren, someone doing it through foster care, school, a nanny, boarding school, etc. Being the so called "parent" it is solely your responsibility to nurture and care for them in all aspects. This involves feeding them, buying them the necessities, supporting them in school and activities, and so on. The list is endless. But who benefits from parenting? Both the child and the adult. Parents benefit because it is considered a "calling" or a vocation, they can become better people, and they can also learn better cooperation skills. It can be hard dealing with kids on a daily basis. However, the kids can benefit as well. They gain a connection and an attachment, and they also learn cooperation skills. On a day to day basis, it can be frustrating trying to deal with them and figure out what they want. But through learning and communication, it is easier to learn to deal with them and become closer with them. Sometimes parents can discourage their children by expecting too much or even too little. As parents, they expect so much out of us, and it is out of love. My parents have told me many times why they get on me about certain things, or why they don't like when things happen, but they do it because they love me and they want whats best for me. Parents want their children to be happy, and they root for their successes in life. Sometimes it might be necessary for children to make mistakes, but it's only for the purpose of learning from that mistake. The lessons learned in life are valuable to things we do and know. If we didn't make mistakes we wouldn't be able to correct it for next time. It ties back to the scriptures and doctrine when we hear that our purpose in life is to make mistakes and to be tested here on earth.
      There are 5 things that Popkin's give to parents. Courage- confidence to take a known risk for a known purpose, Self-esteem- your opinion of yourself and having confidence in your ability to succeed, Responsibility- ability to make decisions and accept outcomes, Cooperation- ability to work together with others towards a common goal, Respect- treating others as worthwhile and valuable human beings. All of these are good rules of thumb as to how to approach situations that we face. Popkin also gives us a problem solving model that deals with the parent and child. Starting at the top, the parents start out with saying a polite request to the child when something is wrong, and if that doesn't work you slowly move down. After the request is an I feel statement about the situation, then a stronger statement and eventually logical consequences. With these consequences it has to be something that both you and child agree on, and actually makes sense. After all is said and done comes the encouraging conversations. These include what the child can do better next time, and how they can not let it happen again. And if they do, there will be consequences. Once again, it's okay for children to make mistakes because the is how they learn. If we always do things right, we are going to seem confused when we do something wrong. Parenting is a wonderful thing, but it shouldn't be abused. It hurts kids to grow up without a mom or dad because they play such a big part in our lives.