Divorce and Re-marriage

                Today, I think that divorce is one of the scariest things that can happen to a marriage. You have picked the love of your life, your best friend, and more importantly, your eternal companion. The person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with and grow old together, but things happened and now you want a divorce. You are back to square one with finding a new partner if you so choose to. However, it has been said that 70% of men who divorce are married 2 years later, and women can take longer if they decide to re-marry at all. Marital satisfaction can wax and wane and things go up and down day to day. But the key is to try to work things out and talk about problems when they arise. In the past 5 years, 70% have been either satisfied or very satisfied with their marriage, 26% of people actually divorce.

                Being divorced can cause many problems between the couple, but also with the kids. You are now separating the family, and the kids have to pick a side, and then split time evenly. It causes stress on the kids because they are constantly being bounced around. If the kids are younger, the mom will most likely have primary custody over them, and if not she will fight for it. and then either both or one will have to pay child support. The father now has to have a career that can support two household because of living for himself and helping support the mom with the kids and child support. Not only does this happen, but the cost for divorce is crazy expensive. 20+ years ago, it was $125,000 for divorce with $25 for fees and the rest paid over the years. I can’t even imaging having to fork out that amount of money.. Now what are some causes for marital failure? Some of them include having a low income, being a different race, low age which leads to commitment issues and not understanding, abuse, non-religious, and mental disorders. All of these are factors that couple look at in their marriage and see if they are failing or succeeding at one or another. If something isn’t right and together they can’t work it out, it is likely that they become dissatisfied with their marriage and it end in a divorce.

                To make a marriage work, it has to be YOUR choice. You are the only one that can decide for yourself whether you want it or not. Are you even trying to make it better, or are you just pointing out that they are a “jerk” and nothing is right. But when it comes to blending families, there are other factors that can make things tough. Is your spouse going to accept your kids and love them? How strict are they going to be, and how do you feel towards that? Each parent is going to have their different parenting styles and that’s ok. It is a process of learning and experimenting. Learning to connect before you correct is going to be a big thing. But if your spouse can learn to deal with your kids and you deal with them, your marriage can be successful if both of you will allow it to be that way. Just like the song ‘He didn’t have to be’ by Brad Paisley. His mom was a single mom and when she started dating someone, that man became his dad and one who loved him and cared for him. He didn’t have to do all those things, but he chose to because he loved him. Loving your children and spouse for who they are is the key thing to a working relationship.